|  A LOADED PROPOSITION: 
                      Joe S. Harrington Picks the All-Time Top 100 Or...Who Pulled 
                      The Trigger? 
 INTRO:
 The 
                      origin of this exercise—and it’s certainly not anything 
                      more—comes from a 
                      former list that Dilly posted on the Cold Coffee website, 
                      which I concocted late one night as a kind of tribute 
                      to the last era when any kind of consensus about 
                      rock existed…that is the late seventies, pre-MTV. Whether 
                      you listened to punk, heavy metal or prog rock, chances 
                      are you’d heard all the same albums—in those days, when 
                      rock was only a couple decades old, a whole generation’s 
                      perception about what constituted "rock n’ roll" 
                      centered around about 100 albums, from the first Bad Company 
                      LP to Nazareth’s Hair of the Dog. So that meant even 
                      if you hated stuff like Heart’s Little Queen or 
                      Queen’s Sheer Heart Attack (which I did) chances 
                      are you were still familiar with them. So, in regards to 
                      that particular honor roll—which was semi-facetious anyway—I 
                      was trying to make kind of an ironic statement and most 
                      people seemed to get it. The esteemed editor of this fine 
                      webzine asked if he could reprint it, but then it dawned 
                      on me, it wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to get tagged 
                      with for life because it was a bit cheeky to begin with. 
                      So I said why not play it straight and really come up with 
                      the actual Top 100?  Once 
                      again, it’s a loaded proposition to begin with—what kind 
                      of arbitrary rating system can one establish to determine 
                      digit-by-digit which alb is theoretically "better" 
                      than another one? Especially when music is such a mood-oriented 
                      thing? OF COURSE it’s just a matter of opinion, but like 
                      any learned discipline, listening to records is a sort of 
                      art form and, I suppose, being a critic is its own reward 
                      because one gets to know about so much great music as a 
                      result of it. That said, the most fatuous thing about any 
                      such "Top 100" is the simple fact of omission—there’s 
                      no way even the most devout record-listener could’ve possibly 
                      heard every album ever (for instance, I have no clear 
                      recollection of Nick Drake’s Pink Moon nor do I have 
                      a copy in the house). I’m particularly ignorant of the commercial 
                      music of the nineties (Radiohead etc.); hence, I’ve imposed 
                      a ten-year rule—nothing on the list was recorded after 1992, 
                      which I think is a pretty good cut-off point since a decade 
                      seems to be a pretty fair statute for immortality (which 
                      I realize is kind of a Cooperstown approach to the whole 
                      thing).   Unfortunately, 
                      unlike in the baseball Hall of Fame, there’s no cogent rating 
                      system that exists, unless you want to use sales (as opposed 
                      to artistic merit). Considering that the majority of albums 
                      on this list never even made the Billboard Top 100, 
                      that would be pointless. What I have tried to do then is 
                      select the All Time Top 100 with provisos—one of 
                      them being, the list is restricted to albs I’ve actually 
                      actively listened to, which means heard more than 
                      once, and, in most cases, still possess a copy of. They 
                      also have to be LPs created as singular works—no various-artist 
                      compilations qualified, which I thought was only fair, since 
                      they’re actually a programmer’s concept more than anything. 
                      It meant Nuggets, This is Boston Not LA and several 
                      volumes of Lee "Scratch" Perry’s classic sixties 
                      work had to be omitted, which in a way was heartbreaking—after 
                      all, an album’s an album, right? Or is it? Because I also 
                      refused to allow greatest hits—so say goodbye to Chuck 
                      Berry’s Golden Decade, Marvin Gaye’s Super Hits and 
                      even James Brown’s Funky People. These have to be 
                      albs intended as albs—because half of what always 
                      made the LP record an art form was this kind of singularity. 
                      It used to be that not every Tom, Dick or Harry (or even 
                      Harry Dick) got to make an alb—nowadays an indie band can 
                      press their own disc, and while that indie spirit was enthralling 
                      for a while, I almost think in the long run it ruined everything 
                      because now the market is so saturated with shit that nobody’s 
                      ever gonna hear the few precious gems lost in the toilet 
                      tide. Music-making wasn’t supposed to be a democracy—it 
                      was a privilege one earned by being good (all of 
                      the artists on this list in fact are exceedingly good). 
                        And 
                      what better judge of who’s "good" or not than 
                      an artist’s recorded legacy? That comes down to LPs, and 
                      what follows is a list of some of the best of ‘em—these 
                      are LPs where we’re talking about AT LEAST 8-9 truly great 
                      cuts as well as a general cohesiveness that suggests theoretical 
                      totality. Theoretical totality, is that too much to 
                      ask?   I’ll 
                      live with it—because, as I’m sure all you music lovers will 
                      agree, there’s nothing more gratifying than that perfect-LP 
                      fix. But it can be deceptive, because sometimes, even those 
                      albs that rocked your world three years ago ultimately get 
                      filed away and forgotten about (stuff like Nashville Pussy 
                      comes to mind). Which is why, once again, the ten-year rule 
                      makes more sense than ever…even if it means omitting genuine 
                      masterpieces issued in the past few years by artists likeof 
                      Love Child, the Hellacopters, Veruca Salt, Yo La Tengo, 
                      Beat Happening, the Brian Jonestown Massacre, Helium, the 
                      Donnas, Buttercup, the Nightblooms, Stereolab and others. 
                        But 
                      if it’s all about singularity, at the same time, some works 
                      were just too singular to qualify—these are works 
                      that are so personal in their vision that they have to ultimately 
                      stand on their own: Johnny Thunders’ Hurt Me, Syd 
                      Barrett’s The Barrett, A Lot of People Would Like 
                      to See Armand Schaubroeck Dead, Yoko’s Fly, Lisa 
                      Suckdog’s Drugs Are Nice etc. Some stuff was just 
                      too obscure—like the insane Strata-East free-jazz LP from 
                      ’72 Alkebulan: Land of the Blacks, or even Don Cherry’s 
                      import-only Organic Music from around the same time. 
                      What’s the sense of recommending it if no-one will ever 
                      be able to hear it? I’ve also tried to avoid sentimental 
                      picks that seem like obligations at this point—it’s not 
                      post-modern smugness: as important as either the Beatles 
                      or Dylan were, I really believe that they’ve been surpassed 
                      at their own respective crafts by their imitators (Big Star 
                      in the Beatles’ case, and Reed, Richard Hell, Verlaine, 
                      Costello, Patti Smith etc. etc. in Dylan’s). You will find 
                      no works by either in my Top 100.   That’s 
                      another thing—if you think something crucial is missing, 
                      most likely it’s not a deliberate snub. The whole impracticality 
                      of such a list becomes more apparent when one ponders just 
                      how many great albums there really are—in that case, 
                      the whole notion of applying such a finite structure to 
                      such a vast ouvre seems like more of a gaffe than ever. 
                      But for now it’s gonna have to stand.   I guess 
                      the plan now is to run the Top 100 in installments of 25 
                      over the next several months here on Blastitude. As opposed 
                      to thinking of it as some kind of definitive list, think 
                      of it more like a long slow descent into one man’s personal 
                      wine cellar.   Just 
                      be glad I didn’t do singles. I still might…   100. 
                      LAMF, the Heartbreakers (Track, 1977): This past 
                      weekend I was sitting on the couch with Nickerson during 
                      football action, and I asked him, "Who are the three 
                      biggest walking advertisements for junk in rock n’ roll 
                      history?" When he didn’t answer, I preceded to announce 
                      them: 1. Burrroughs; 2. Keith and 3…and I held up the sleeve 
                      of LAMF, which we were listening to at the time. 
                      "Those guys were into the horse?" He asked, in 
                      his own inimitable way. Yes, these guys were into the horse. 
                      They were into the horse so much they moved to England because 
                      they had easier access to the junk—in the form of legal 
                      methadone. They brought Nancy Spungen with them and, in 
                      this way, indirectly murdered Sid Vicious. They were an 
                      exemplary raunch-rock outfit, but they didn’t have many 
                      songs…they were too busy procuring the junk, DOING the junk, 
                      TALKING about doing the junk etc. Indeed, LAMF comes 
                      off like a rock n’ roll ransom note—they made this album 
                      because they had to, if you know what I mean. But 
                      they play with a fury that captures that punk-rock summer 
                      of ’77—this is a STAMPEDE of high-rollin’ hijinx that has 
                      Thunders and sidekick Walter Lure springing forth absolutely 
                      ARROGANT sounding shards o’ Chuck Berry while Thunders, 
                      in that whiney voice of his, strikes a somewhat lackadaisical 
                      pose, and the rhythm section—which contained fellow Dolls 
                      outcast drummer Jerry Nolan and the venerable Billy Rath—plunged 
                      headlong into the tunnel of darkness. It’s one of the LEAST 
                      self-pitying drug albums ever. In fact, it’s more or less 
                      the essence of a great rock n’ roll album with 12 cuts that 
                      run together cohesively enough to give the impression that, 
                      for just once, these eternal villains gave it a real go, 
                      a no-bullshit effort. The fact they were doing it just to 
                      earn their heroin really doesn’t diminish it. Some people 
                      prefer the later Live at Max’s but LAMF to 
                      me shows a band really trying to battle the British punks 
                      for punk rock supremacy on their own turf. That takes balls—a 
                      lot of bands can talk the talk, but you know what they say. 
                      These guys did NOT run in fear from the foul-mouthed yobs. 
                      The Heartbreakers were the real Ocean’s Eleven. 99. 
                      One Size Fits All, the Mothers of Invention (DiscReet, 
                      1975): Not many folks’ d put this on the list, opting 
                      instead for We’re Only in it For the Money or Hot 
                      Rats or Apostrophe, but I think this is actually 
                      better. The only other alb by Uncle Frankie Baby 
                      that even had a chance to place was Shiek Yerbouti, 
                      an underrated, mostly-live and typically bloated (it’s a 
                      double alb) undertaking from ’79 that’s actually quite similar, 
                      but Overnight Sensation is slightly preferable, not 
                      just because it’s shorter—the band is a bit greasier, and 
                      this is definitely Zappa’s most "soulful" alb 
                      if y’ can call it that. Maybe it’s the presence of George 
                      Duke and Johnny "Guitar" Watson, but the kind 
                      of rolling fusion-funk of One Size Fits All is closely 
                      akin to similarly rubbery experiments at the time like Tim 
                      Buckley’s I Pity the Fool and Parliament’s Mothership 
                      Connection. By this point, Zappa was at his most 
                      acerbic and he literally makes fun of everybody on 
                      One Size Fits All, from biker scum ("San Ber’dino") 
                      to the Krauts ("Sofa No. 2") the little pajama-wearers 
                      (the classic "Po-jama People"). The musical interplay 
                      of "Andy" is perhaps the ultimate bridge between 
                      Zappa’s sixties noodling and his seventies rock-funk-jazz 
                      boogaloo. His guitar is wank, as always, but here it’s used 
                      tastefully; meanwhile, the extravagant textures of the music 
                      itself are only matched by Steely Dan. The way snippets 
                      of recorded wordage break up "Inca Roads," the 
                      opening track, is almost a weird predecessor to rap. The 
                      fact Eazy-E sampled this album seems to back this up. The 
                      beauty of Zappa was that he was equally obnoxious as a lot 
                      of those latter-day bad-asses, but with intelligence and 
                      discipline. Sometimes his knee-jerk belligerence belied 
                      his musical strengths, but this album is the perfect mix 
                      of beauty and contempt. 98. 
                      Brain Capers, Mott the Hoople (Atlantic, 1972): 
                      This ‘un more or less has to be in here. Because 
                      when you think of where Mott was at when they recorded this 
                      album…they’d yet to break in America (which they never really 
                      did) and they were generally on the rocks. They’d yet to 
                      meet Bowie, and were basically a band of sods at odds with 
                      everything the record-making establishment had to offer—therefore 
                      they were one precious album away from being dropped by 
                      their label, which happened to be Atlantic, and this happened 
                      to be the album that got ‘em finally dropped when it didn’t 
                      even chart in the US. There’s a genuine surliness to this 
                      album, particularly on cuts like the punk classics "Death 
                      May Be Your Santa Claus" and "Moon Upstairs" 
                      that wasn’t apparent on their more taciturn earlier albums, 
                      no doubt a result of creeping seventies cynicism (which 
                      was also being echoed at the time by Alice, BOC etc. etc.) 
                      But there’s also a lot of the churning workingman rock that 
                      was such a mainstay of this era, from the Zeppelin/Jethro 
                      Tull-ish fade-out of their version of the Youngbloods’ "Darkness, 
                      Darkness" to the epic Stones-like (think "You 
                      Can’t Always Get What You Want") grandeur of "The 
                      Journey" (which ain’t that far off from Elton). There’s 
                      also Stones/Faces lad-rock ("Sweet Angeline") 
                      which amounts to just a healthy bunch o’ yobs singin’ ‘bout 
                      girls and stuff to the usual boogie-woogie. This is definitely 
                      Mott pre-"hey you there, you with the glasses," 
                      and as such, in all its bohunk glory, it’s kinda like the 
                      English vesion of the Flamin’ Groovies’ Teenage Head, 
                      which came out at approximately the same time. For early 
                      seventies English juicing-and-jamming antics it beats Rod’s 
                      Mercury stuff—and the fact the Dictators covered "Moon 
                      Upstairs" gives further credence to the whole godfather-of-punk 
                      claim that Mott, amongst many others, has oft copped. And 
                      speakin’ o’ covers, that’s another thing to their credit—they 
                      do great ones, and coverin’ Dion’s anti-junk "My Own 
                      Back Yard" on this album was as brilliant a move as 
                      their earlier remake of Sonny. Some people prefer the later 
                      Mott, a probably more well-thought-out opus, but 
                      Brain Capers shows a band right on the edge, and 
                      as such it has a sense of desperation and wailing ragged 
                      glory that most albums simply can’t match.  97. 
                      Bleach, Nirvana (Sub Pop, 1989): When these ZoidOids 
                      made this album they really had no idea that they 
                      were one day gonna be hailed amongst the almighty…the great 
                      irony of Kurt Cobain was that he was probably the first 
                      rock star to try and pull off that whole unselfconscious 
                      act who really was unselfconscious enough to get 
                      away with it. And when he found out how utterly self-conscious 
                      those surrounding him were—his bandmates, his girlfriend, 
                      his record label, the fans, the press—he couldn’t cope. 
                      A lot of folks said "that loser asshole, if you’d given 
                      me the fame I could’ve handled it" but it wasn’t 
                      them who became the Voice of a Generation, it was the mewling 
                      puppydog we hear on this album who, in his primal stomp, 
                      was willing to literally crawl through the thickets (if 
                      not wear them as a thorny crown on his head). Kurt got elected, 
                      he couldn’t help it, and this album is why—while Dave Geffen 
                      was JUST STARTING to get the whole process rolling by signing 
                      Sonic Youth and then Teenage Fanclub to his label, trying 
                      to slowly broach these alt-rock waters, Nirvana were obliviously 
                      whacking out a highly-stoked brand o’ freedom-rock that 
                      could dirty a pair of dungarees at fifty paces. There’s 
                      a lot of fuckery on this LP, and the influence of the Melvins 
                      is prevalent, but what the fuck was grunge if not an inversion 
                      of punk’s whole hard-fast-loud equation and the whole Melvins/Flipper 
                      slowdown process is apparent on Bleach just as it 
                      was on the work of proto-grunge gods Green River and their 
                      spin-off, Mudhoney. Together these long-haired young 
                      men brought this raging tribunal to the world and Charlie 
                      Peterson was there to snap the footage of these feisty lumber-jerks 
                      shakin’ their leonine manes. Out on the east coast, as bifocal’ 
                      d schoolboy types stood around trying to look and act blasé, 
                      their girlfriends were raising their lashes (and lowering 
                      their drawers) to these Neanderthals (as always). When y’ 
                      heard Bleach in ’89, it definitely sounded like the 
                      wave o’ the future. Listening to it now it sounds like a 
                      slopbucket of shit—recorded when the band was actually a 
                      quartet, featuring the addition of guitarist Jason Everman, 
                      and before Dave Grohl joined (Dale Crover and Chad Channing 
                      split drum duties)—it’s an exercise in excessive splat and 
                      ugly noise, purposely dark and grim-sounding and monotonous, 
                      but the melodies lurk in there somewhere and Cobain was 
                      already perfecting his primal-scream technique in songs 
                      like "Paper Cuts." This album really comes on 
                      strong about half-way thru it with such searing slabs o’ 
                      sheer hatred as "Negative Creep" and "Scoff." 
                      Why Geffen thought, after hearing this, that they could 
                      make a hit out of these guys is dubious. The fact that they 
                      were able to of course says scores about a lot of things, 
                      but it doesn’t explain why Bleach, recorded when 
                      they were still on little old Sub Pop, is actually the best 
                      thing Nirvana—any incarnation of Nirvana—ever did.  96. 
                      Roxy Music (Reprise, 1972): When it comes to 
                      these cuckoos I was originally gonna nominate Stranded 
                      for the honor roll—either that or Eno’s second solo 
                      album, but on second thought they’d already done it all 
                      by the time of this, their first—and what a first it was, 
                      one of the first albs to truly accept the seventies as an 
                      inevitability. From the opening blare of the classic "Remake/Remodel" 
                      (which basically BIRTHED David Byrne via Ferry’s foghorn 
                      vocal during the verse "we could talk talk talk talk 
                      TALK ourselves to death") to the grandiose stylings 
                      that end the album with the pseudo-swank of "Bitter 
                      End," these clowns wax contemptuous of just about everything—everything 
                      that makes them have to leave the cocktail lounge where 
                      they sit til the wee hours o’ the English morn w/ their 
                      painted ladies and extravagant backdrops (Warhol anyone?). 
                      That’s where these guys were coming from at a time when 
                      there was still a lot of exuberant good hippie vibes—and 
                      that’s why, a few years later, the Sex Pistols didn’t 
                      find these guys unthinkable whereas they did find Mick 
                      unthinkable (read: square). Musically, Roxy weren’t ruffians 
                      like the Stooges, in fact they had pomp airs, but in the 
                      synthesizzle of stuff like "2.H.B." not only were 
                      the seventies being invented, but the eighties too (in the 
                      form of Depeche Mode or whatever). They also made perfect 
                      bedfellows with Bowie—and what can you say about that other 
                      than….eeeh, better them than me! 95. 
                      Scary Monsters, David Bowie (RCA, 1980): Speaking 
                      of the Thin White Puke…he’s pretty much gotta be in here 
                      somewhere and let’s face it, any number o’ David’s albs 
                      ‘re winners, from the raucous aplomb of the late-period-heavy-psych 
                      Man Who Sold the World to the fey-folk whimsy of 
                      the Lou-Reed-in-a-dress Hunky Dory to the Burroughsian 
                      drug-homosexual orgy of Diamond Dogs—some people 
                      even like the trilogy of albs made with Eno. But Scary 
                      Monsters, the one he made after the trilogy, 
                      can in many ways be seen as his most enduring work—it was 
                      also his last good one, and that was over twenty years ago 
                      so, as Strausbaugh decrees, it’s about time for this old 
                      hag to hang up his rock n’ roll shoes. I’ve seen little 
                      evidence of him lately, and that’s definitely a plus. 
                      But when Scary Monsters came out, Bowie was the one 
                      surviving member of the rock aristocracy who’d effectively 
                      escaped the wrath o’ the punks and what Scary Monsters 
                      represents is a cross between all those kooky multi-layered 
                      devices that Eno’ d taught him in Berlin, and the guttersnipe 
                      snarl of what was happening in England at the time: Joy 
                      Division, PiL and all that. Then again, he gets Springsteen’s 
                      keyboard guy to play on a few songs so how "punk" 
                      is it? Bowie doesn’t care—he’s always been a mass of contradictions, 
                      but all things considered, this is one of his least contradictory 
                      albums because it’s one of his most seamless—no "Ain’t 
                      it Hard" or "Lady Grinning Soul" to disrupt 
                      the flow…and the flow is a clank and, in this case, the 
                      rose is a thorn. Bowie’s at his most prickly in the title 
                      cut, which contains the best solo Fripp played since "Baby’s 
                      on Fire." Although it was under-recognized in its time, 
                      Scary Monsters has actually turned out to be one 
                      of Bowie’s most influential LPs, arriving as it did, right 
                      at the crossroads between punk/new wave and seventies/eighties. 
                      Trent Reznor of all people claimed it was the first alb 
                      that really tugged at his naps, and Richard Butler of the 
                      Psychedelic Furs cited Scary Monsters as a major 
                      influence on that band’s second LP, Talk Talk Talk. 
                      It’s the only Bowie album that still sounds fresh nowadays, 
                      partly because Bowie was never entirely negligent when it 
                      came to those dance rhythms either—he understood 
                      that moveable (and mindless) impulse of disco and he also 
                      realized that it wasn’t that far from new wave. He also 
                      threw some ugly noise and Springsteen in there (goddamn 
                      guy was ALWAYS a Stinksteen booster). And he kissed other 
                      men on the lips. Goddamn guy’s a screwball no matter how 
                      you look at it. 94. 
                      Tyranny & Mutation, Blue Oyster Cult (Columbia, 
                      1973): This brain-buster from ’73 was one of the all-time 
                      heavy-mental opuses when it came out, although almost nobody 
                      knew about it at the time. The first album was also a classic, 
                      with its sinister sounding ambiance that sounded like it 
                      was recorded in a dungeon, and mindfucking endless-trapdoor-to-hell 
                      cover, but this one took their whole creepy Nazi-punk approach 
                      to a whole new and relentless level. On the inset, they 
                      were all wearing black leather and even thanked the Leather 
                      Man, a bondage shop on Christopher Street, on the sleeve. 
                      The songs were some of the most metallic of the era, particularly 
                      the first side, which was like a screaming cabal of molten 
                      mania peaking with the anthem "Hot Rails to Hell," 
                      later covered by Tesco Vee, which tells you something right 
                      there. The second side was weird—a more hypnotically pastoral 
                      but still intense and wicked sound that in a strange way 
                      predated stuff like the Cars’ "All Mixed Up." 
                      Part-time song-hawkers Patti Smith and Richard Meltzer also 
                      make an appearance. 93. 
                      Daydream Nation, Sonic Youth (Blast First, 1988): 
                      A pretty big breakthrough for the fledgling "underground" 
                      as it existed in the abyss of the late eighties, before 
                      it would become farm-teamed and eventually franchised and 
                      these guys would help break down that door as well—infact, 
                      Bryllcream Nation was their last outing in indie-land 
                      but it was an almost Magellan-like voyage in its infinite 
                      scope n’ scape. This is the one where they really got 
                      it down and they were able to spread it over two whole 
                      discs, spanning over an hour in length, and toying with 
                      all their gadgets while at the same time still existing 
                      somewhat within the framework o’ actual "songs" 
                      which they’d already been edging closer towards for a while, 
                      and some actually prefer the sex-death-suicide-surrender 
                      of the more macabre-erotique Sister, Evol and even 
                      the barely-competent Bad Moon Rising. All are supreme 
                      opuses by what was arguably the most important band of the 
                      era (although not necessarily the "best"). But 
                      Bryllcream had the moment—and that moment 
                      was the moment before the big indie secret became exposed 
                      to an actual daydream nation of mopey kids named Jason with 
                      their hair falling in their faces. You gotta give J. Mascis 
                      a lotta credit in this area as well, but then again, Sonic 
                      Youth jumped on his bandwagon and they both recorded for 
                      SST for a while so it was all coming out of the same place 
                      (and as stuff like Azzerad’s book proves, that whole era 
                      of SST recordings basically set the table for all of this 
                      shit). One thing’s for sure, on songs like "Total Trash," 
                      "Teen Age Riot," "Hey Joni" and others, 
                      Sonic Youth were hammering away for posterity—this 
                      is one of those albums where one can really feel the momentum 
                      of history itself turning a page and as such it’s one 
                      of those albs that one cannot possibly hear without thinking 
                      of the time it was created in. And only now, in light of 
                      what’s come since, do we realize what a great time it was, 
                      those early days of indie. One thing’s for sure—from Sebadoh 
                      to Love Child to Eric’s Trip (who named themselves after 
                      a song on this album), any group who mixed dirge-like minor 
                      chords with grizzly sonic outbursts in those days was paying 
                      homage—inadvertently or no—to these sneaker-geezers.  92. 
                      Atlantis, Sun Ra (Saturn, 1967): Everyone knows 
                      Sun Ra was crazy as a cat and that his recorded output could 
                      be spotty—which isn’t necessarily a bad thing for a guy 
                      with 100-plus albums under his (very wide) belt. Some of 
                      his albs were thoroughly unlistenable while others were 
                      OK ‘cept for some random meandering blat that ruined the 
                      flow of an otherwise alreet LP (Nothing Is comes 
                      readily to mind). The guy wasn’t consistent in other words, 
                      but Atlantis is probably one of his most uncharacteristically 
                      unswerving works and probably his best. The ramifications 
                      of this album were heard louder in the field of funk than 
                      jazz—P-Funk for instance copies "Yucatan" EXACTLY 
                      on one of their earlier albs. Ra’s use of keyboards and 
                      electronics predates everything from Miles to Stevie Wonder 
                      to George Duke’s work on Zappa’s One Size Fits All (see 
                      #99). In the aforementioned "Yucatan," a phone 
                      rings, and the song abruptly ends, which tells you something 
                      about his "natural" approach to recording—i.e., 
                      somewhat Jandek-like (don’t forget, Sun Ra released all 
                      this stuff on his own label so he was pioneering "indie" 
                      as well). The combo of kozmik keyboard slop and tribal fury 
                      ("Bimini" is like the meeting ground between Olatunji 
                      and the Last Poets) on Atlantis is what makes it 
                      such a work of unqualified genius. It’s on this list for 
                      the most basic reason that an album could be considered 
                      one of the "100 best ever made"—mainly, it sounds 
                      like nothing else.  91. 
                      Quark, Strangeness and Charm, Hawkwind (Sire, 1977): 
                      From perhaps the greatest year of record-album making ever, 
                      1977 (Ramones Leave Home and Rocket to Russia, 
                      Never Mind the Bollocks, Blank Generation, Marquee Moon, 
                      My Aim is True, Dancing in Your Head, I’m Stranded, Young, 
                      Loud & Snotty etc. etc.) SPEAKING of "space 
                      is the place"…actually, a lotta folks prefer the early 
                      double-doomsday Space Ritual, which is one of the 
                      most oppressive opuses ever conceived—two sides of live 
                      space wallow from the early seventies when good ol’ Dave 
                      Brock was shining his strobes into the eyes of his victims 
                      and Lemmy was an ass-shaking participant in such deviousness. 
                      By the time of Quark, Lemmy had long left to form 
                      Motorhead and by now Brock ruled the roost—the songs are 
                      shorter, with a more pulsating rock n’ roll beat, and a 
                      lot of keyboard twizzle, and a completely mocking attitude 
                      that out-devos Devo and out-androids those two Dusseldorks 
                      in Kraftwerk. The first track, "Spirit of the Age," 
                      is a paean to cloning that predates both Entwistle’s "905" 
                      and Alice Cooper’s "Clones"—the best part is, 
                      there’s none of the hippie moralizing that damaged those 
                      outings by decrying this weird, wild future we were, back 
                      then, just getting into (remember this was also the era 
                      of Close Encounters, Star Wars, the Six Million Dollar 
                      Man etc.). Brock and Co. sound totally HAPPY with the 
                      complete degradation of all mankind and you will too as 
                      you listen to the Chuck Berry send-up "Damnation Alley" 
                      in which Brock quips "Oklahoma City what a pity it’s 
                      gone" with a gleeful sense of abandon that, for sheer 
                      menace alone, even surpasses Blue Oyster Cult’s "there 
                      goes Tokyo" exaltation in "Godzilla" (also 
                      ’77 believe it or not). Then there’s the title cut, which 
                      makes fun of the great minds of science—oh, you know, guys 
                      like Einstein and Galileo—because they can’t score like 
                      English rock stars. Umm, it’s a concept album I do 
                      believe. 90. 
                      The New York Dolls (Mercury, 1973): Rundgren 
                      was right—not just anyone would’ve been able to get a "decent 
                      effort" out of these bozos. As Todd said: "Eeeh, 
                      considering what I had to work with, it’s a miracle I got 
                      anything out of them at all." As the earlier bike-shop 
                      jams that make up ROIR’s Lipstick Killers proves, 
                      the songs, the sound, the stance was already there. But, 
                      as with the Stooges, TAMING it for the recording studio 
                      was the question and, to his credit, Todd-o was able to 
                      do that somewhat. He understood their essential Velvets/Stooges 
                      NOISE/trash factor, as opposed to their more showman-like 
                      Stones tendencies, and as such this album captures the snarl 
                      of the New York City streets a lot better than their second 
                      (although that alb’s no slouch either). Many critics at 
                      the time likened it to a subway train—indeed the screeching-and-suitably-well-greased 
                      wail of such instant-classics as "Vietnamese Baby," 
                      "Frankenstein," "Private World" and 
                      the immortal "Jet Boy" was way WAY more punkified 
                      than the glitter edifices that surrounded them at the time 
                      in the form of Bowie, Roxy Music, Alice Cooper etc. The 
                      Dolls were, um, somewhat looser, per se, and they 
                      played a hell of a lot faster. It fell apart sometimes, 
                      but even when it fell apart it merely sounded like falling 
                      down and scraping one’s knees as opposed to calling mom 
                      and asking her to come take you home from summer camp because 
                      little Timmy Beasley had dosed you on acid. I can tell you 
                      SEVERAL bands they influenced: Aerosmith, Kiss, the Dead 
                      Boys, the Ramones and the Sex Pistols right off the bat. 
                      What more evidence does one need? 89. 
                      Teenage Head, the Flamin’ Groovies (Kama Sutra, 1971): 
                      Mike Saunders always said this was the great American 
                      early seventies rock LP, along with CCR’s Cosmo’s Factory 
                      and they are both of a piece for this kind of boiled-down-hippie-Americana-roots-rock 
                      meld (ironically, they both hailed from the Berkeley/San 
                      Fran area). There’s a pulsating rock n’ roll SNAP to this 
                      album that would influence future upstarts like the Real 
                      Kids in a profound way; on Teenage Head the groove—prescribed 
                      by their own mythical "Dr. Boogie"—is seemingly 
                      eternal. Coming to New York to record this in the summer 
                      o’ ’71, surrounded by a coterie of hipster onlookers, this 
                      has the feel of a major hoedown from start-to-finish. What 
                      this alb mostly has to do with is copping that whole vibe 
                      o’ Beggar’s Banquet / Let it Bleed that the 
                      Stones were riding high on the time—"City Lights," 
                      for instance, has the lackadaisical feel of the honky-tonk 
                      wrangle proffered by those fops, "Have You Seen My 
                      Baby" is a Randy Newman send-up (remember, he appeared 
                      on the Performance soundtrack) and the great "Yesterday’s 
                      Numbers" is perhaps the ALL-TIME son-of-Stones opus 
                      with swaggering guitars worthy o’ Taylor n’ Richards flailing 
                      around like drunken shadow-boxers. Only the Brian Jonestown 
                      Massacre ever copped the vibe this gloriously. And the title 
                      cut is a punk-rock opus that literally snarls, musically 
                      and lyrically: "I’ll mess you up for fun" sings 
                      Roy A. Loney like a true American kid and he even evokes 
                      Vietnam without any seeming sense of remorse, thus predating 
                      Iggy ("Search and Destroy") and the Dolls ("Vietnamese 
                      Baby"). In the redneck vein (which also happened to 
                      be prof’d by Fogerty and company) is "32-20" where, 
                      once again, these yanks don’t flinch at the thought of using 
                      some good ol’ American steel to solve a love-problem ala 
                      "Hey Joe" or, years later, Rap music. On "Evil 
                      Hearted Ada," Loney does his Elvis impersonation with 
                      the same hiccupping sense of sexual anticipation that earmarked 
                      the Sun sessions. The only bad track—and it ain’t even that 
                      bad—is "Whiskey Woman," which sounds like it belongs 
                      on Mott the Hoople’s second album instead of this otherwise 
                      perfect opus. Ten stars. 88. 
                      The Hangman’s Beautiful Daughter, the Incredible 
                      String Band (Elektra, 1967): Y’ know, initially, punks 
                      were aghast when Coley endorsed sixties wimpoids like these—but 
                      Coley wasn’t young and he remembered his prep-school days 
                      listening to these ginchos while blasted on eight-way windowpane. 
                      And sure enough, they were pretty scintillating sounds. 
                      You have to remember, in order to will "indie" 
                      into a concrete IDEA it was necessary to re-evaluate the 
                      whole history o’ rock as told to us by the primarily Top 
                      40-fixated gasbags who’d more or less written the book. 
                      But when alluva sudden there was this whole vast UNDERGROUND 
                      it became apparent to everyone that maybe there’d always 
                      BEEN an underground lurking beneath the surface o’ the Beatles 
                      and the Mary Poppins soundtrack. What our thru excavation 
                      ultimately revealed was that the Stones were actually a 
                      lot closer to Mary Poppins than we ever thunketh. 
                      We also found that the whole notion—"underground music"—was 
                      nothing new…now maybe in those days they had a LITTLE more 
                      lee-way as far as major labels were concerned—then again, 
                      if it hadn’t been for the Doors, Elektra wouldn’t’ve even 
                      BEEN a major label when this album came out. You gotta wonder 
                      who actually listened to it at the time, other than Coley, 
                      but there’s no doubting the totally wigged-out "validity" 
                      of the whole thing in light of the Beatles and Mary Poppins. 
                      But what makes it so ironic—which, let’s face it, is the 
                      essential qualifier to the indie generation—is that, 
                      at its core, the Incredible String Band was a combo of the 
                      Beatles and Mary Poppins. On the cover you see them 
                      frolicking with the children, a very harmless idea in the 
                      sixties as opposed to the perverse realm such activities 
                      would hint at nowadays. Which is the whole point—in the 
                      sixties, everything was innocent, which is why these 
                      fey folkies thought it a perfectly natural thing to go way 
                      way out with the little "Minotaur’s Song" 
                      etc. They claim they never even took acid (the psych embroidery 
                      is probably due to producer Joe Boyd). They were innocents, 
                      and their eclectic mélange here of everything from 
                      pan-flute to oud to mandolin to dobro in the name of King 
                      Arthur dance-around-the-maypole antics was a prime case 
                      of folkies getting caught up in the communal buzz o’ the 
                      sixties. In England, they weren’t alone, and this same coed 
                      university-derived female-inclusive experience also produced 
                      Fairport Convention, Pentangle, Trees, Hedgehog Pie etc. 
                      Speaking of universities, it’s no surprise that when indie 
                      reared its sniggering head in the late eighties, the ISB 
                      were vindicated as underground heroes on the same plane 
                      as Beefheart and better than the, by now, semi-respectable 
                      VU. What was the "college rock" crowd at the Middle 
                      East in Cambridge if not the modern folkies? From Barbara 
                      Manning’s ethereal glaze to Wayne and Kate’s raga-esque 
                      string-bending antics, the Incredible String Band would 
                      finally have their say.  87. 
                      Primordial Lovers, Essra Mohawk (Reprise, 1970): 
                      The essence du swinger is what it’s really all about. 
                      In the early sixties, women like Carole King fabricated 
                      the human lollipops that were the girl-groups, but it took 
                      Grace Slick w/ stuff like "Two Heads" and "Somebody 
                      to Love" to wax truly woman-like. Then came Sandy…or 
                      Essra Mohawk as she became known after she married Frazier 
                      Mohawk, who was some hippie prince at Reprise, a label that 
                      more or less manifested a LOONY BIN in the late sixties/early 
                      seventies (the Fugs, Mothers, Beefheart, Buckley, Wildman 
                      Fischer, Randy Newman, Neil Young, the Kinks, Nico etc.) 
                      and this album fits right in. Her first Zappa-sponsored 
                      and heavily Laura Nyro-influenced one was also excellent 
                      (typified by the quip in the liner notes: "It wasn’t 
                      hard to find an orgy in the sixties if you were a pretty 
                      girl"), but Primordial Lovers was more unfathomable—it’s 
                      jazzy and lush but fractured in that folkie way of Skip 
                      Spence’s Oar or some of Neil’s stuff (not surprisingly, 
                      she enlists Dallas Taylor, fresh from his stint on Déjà 
                      Vu). It’s incandescent music, and hard to describe, 
                      but let’s just say it was the point between Laura Nyro and 
                      Patti Smith, Joni Mitchell and Liz Phair, Erika Pomeranz 
                      and Marianne Nowottny.  86. 
                      Double Nickels on a Dime, the Minutemen (SST, 1984): 
                      Pretty big dose o’ these buffoons, released by the Greatest 
                      Record Label of Its Time the SAME DAY they released Zen 
                      Arcade by Husker Du, which was a pretty leapin’ lumpin’ 
                      o’ those fellow unholy cheeseburger-eaters. You gotta admire 
                      the goddamn AIM (high)…but a lesser band than the mighty 
                      Minutemen wouldn’t ‘ve been able to fill the plate. These 
                      guys had EMPTIED enough plates, so they knew. Their motto 
                      was "econo" so what follows is a series of tunes 
                      based on a distinct brand of simplicity—most of these songs 
                      start with Watt’s pivotal bass riff and quickly descend 
                      into a ceiling fan-full of prime and righteous malarkey 
                      that lives and breathes in the way it does because of the 
                      efficient but still complex soldiering of its three distinct 
                      musical personalities. The greatest trio since Cream? The 
                      Minute-boys were earnest to a degree that was rare and treasured 
                      amongst their "hardcore" compatriots. They coulda 
                      been the new Diggers. When they visited Tesco in Dearborn, 
                      they were in fear of the way he would walk into a Pizza 
                      Hut, order the Priazzo, and then walk out without paying 
                      for it, prompting Boon to wail: "Jleeeesthluss! 
                      Tesco, you’re not going to actually steal the Priazzo? 
                      JLEEEESTHLUSSS!" But when it came to servin’ UP the 
                      pizza, Watt and crew looked like your friendly neighborhood 
                      Shakey’s crew. Double Nickel was a double-crusted 
                      pie that only got better with age. D. Boon RIP. 85. 
                      Ege Bamyasi, Can (United Artists, 1972): Probably 
                      the best opus by these Krauts. A lot o’ folks go for the 
                      earlier double LP Tago Mago but Ege Bamyasi 
                      was a further extrapolation of that album’s most severe 
                      rhythmic orientations, with a newfound funkiness. Singer 
                      Damon Suzuki at this point was totally crazed, doing word 
                      sculptures with his mouth as opposed to actually "singing," 
                      kinda like the Igster on certain parts o’ Funhouse. 
                      It definitely foreshadowed the work of Isobel in Bardo Pond 
                      as well as MANY others. The first track "Pinch" 
                      was one of the funkiest psychedelic tracks ever recorded, 
                      and the moonbeam atmospherics were, along with Hawkwind, 
                      the kind of twisted space-sizzle that would ignite such 
                      American anarchists as Pere Ubu and Mission of Burma later 
                      in the decade. The second Public Image album owes a great 
                      deal of its existence to this album, as does Sonic Youth. 
                      But some stuff is so fucking unique that no-one’s ever touched 
                      it—dig the baroque boogie of "One More Night" 
                      which is like the Watts 103rd Street Band mixed 
                      with Robert Moog mixed with Exile on Main Street. 
                      Never even charted in the US, but eventually spawned a cult 
                      as resonant as Beefheart or the Velvet Underground, two 
                      bands they’re not entirely dissimilar from. Their first 
                      seven LPs are all great, but this one’s the best.  84. 
                      Pet Sounds, the Beach Boys (Capitol, 1966): Accidental 
                      genius or divine inspiration? One thing’s for sure: Pet 
                      Sounds is the first album truly conceived as something 
                      greater than the average pop slop. Brian had grown sick 
                      of the make-believe playworld of fun and sun, perhaps as 
                      a result of the eye-opening experience of taking acid for 
                      the first time. He didn’t just grow tired of it, he got 
                      freaked out about it. So freaked out that re-fashioned the 
                      whole band so that the Boys were Boys in name only, and 
                      replaced them with Russ Kunkel and all those guys. This 
                      is the ultimate Hollywood studio LP of the sixties—"Let’s 
                      Go Away for A While" could easily be on a Martin Denny 
                      LP (xylophones wail). Pet Sounds was all about staking 
                      out a more personal vision—but Brian was so scared 
                      of his self-revelation that he had to hire a trained 
                      lyricist in the person of Tony Asher in order to express 
                      it coherently. So now you’ve got studio boys playing the 
                      music, and Asher writing some of the lyrics—so what’s left 
                      for Brian but his ultimate Phil Spector fantasy. The only 
                      track that sounds like a Beach Boys song is "Sloop 
                      John B" and that was actually recorded before the album. 
                      The rest of it is a more worldly kind of pop—"God Only 
                      Knows" did the celestial-pop bit before even the Beatles. 
                      In fact, the Beatles claimed to be influenced by this LP, 
                      and so did a lot of other people (Todd Rundgren comes readily 
                      to mind). As far as the whole notion of music-as-an-intricate 
                      web, Pet Sounds pretty much led the way, and the 
                      manner in which Brian overlaid a multitude of different 
                      harmonic elements and textural embellishments foreshadowed 
                      the labyrinthian sound-layering of hip hop and remix dipshits 
                      by decades. Many of the songs—"I Wasn’t Made For These 
                      Times," "Here Today," "Caroline No," 
                      "I Know There’s An Answer"—revealed deep insecurities 
                      within Brian’s psyche. Pet Sounds was in a way Brian’s 
                      first attempt to confront his demons—but when Beach Boys 
                      fans waxed indifferent, it shattered him and he never fully 
                      recovered (which is of course another thing that makes Pet 
                      Sounds so legendary). Other than that, there’s a clear 
                      explanation for what happened to this man’s mind. In a word: 
                      drugs. 83. 
                      Marquee Moon, Television (Elektra, 1977): The 
                      first, or second, outright art-rock attempt in the realm 
                      o’ "punk" (Patti’s two albs—counts as one—would 
                      be first). There’s no doubt about it, Verlaine wasn’t just 
                      another muttonhead and when he convinced Hilly to let he 
                      and his boys take the stage it was like a more jettisoned 
                      version of the Velvets or New York Dolls, suitable for New 
                      York tape recorders only. Verlaine was that rare combo of 
                      street-poet ala Dylan or Reed, and certified guitar genius—and 
                      the addition of the second guitarist, Richard Lloyd, meant 
                      that they could trade off long and winding solos like all 
                      the great mythic duos, from Lou and Sterling during the 
                      1969 era to Danny Whitten and Neil Young and other 
                      duos who formed a singular voice (the Everly Bros.?) Verlaine 
                      played in the spine-tingling high register of Garcia or 
                      Cippolina, a realm also inhabited fairly frequently by Lenny 
                      Kaye of the Patti Smith Group (Verlaine also played w/ Smith 
                      occasionally so it all makes sense). On Marquee Moon 
                      Television delivered a mighty salvo in the name of "punk"—the 
                      kind of thing that convinced New York papers to take it 
                      "seriously." Because Television were in almost 
                      every sense an exemplary rock n’ roll band—the sound was 
                      raw and uncompromising yet melodious and in some ways sweet. 
                      It was clear this album was a major event from the minute 
                      it was released. From the raw rip of "See No Evil" 
                      to the dueling-guitar zen archery of the title cut, it was 
                      the foundation for a whole school of high-flying bands, 
                      from the Only Ones in England to Sleepyhead years later. 
                      And don’t forget your friends the Strokes. Marquee Moon 
                      was released during that strange timewarp right before 
                      punk broke, where Elektra were trying to sell them along 
                      the same ranks as Steve Hillage (as opposed to the Strokes). 
                      But it was the tail end of that, baby—the "punk" 
                      tag hurt ‘em eventually, but they weren’t able to squirm 
                      out of it like Patti or the Talking Heads did—but then again, 
                      that was mostly due to ego and drug problems. They were 
                      a burnout band without question, but they burned brightly. 
                      The second alb, Adventure, ain’t bad either but Marquee 
                      Moon is the cat’s meow.  82. 
                      The Notorious Byrd Brothers, the Byrds (Columbia, 
                      1968): McGuinn’s attempt to do his Brian Wilson act. 
                      By now the other band members have become mere components. 
                      But I think he outstrips Brian and the fagboy Beatles 
                      with this one. The vortex is tight as a fuckin’ ship on 
                      this crinkling masterpiece. Bud Scoppa once described the 
                      production of this alb as "airtight" and that’s 
                      pretty much the best description I can come up with—if McGuinn 
                      was going for the "space" effect (which he obviously 
                      was considering this LP’s closer "Space Odyssey") 
                      then he succeeded. But there’s also this weird country 
                      root (partly due to bassist Chris Hillman who’d split 
                      after one more album of even more countrified lickin’s). 
                      Influenced by Sgt. Pepper, there’re even HORNS on 
                      "Artificial Energy," but they’re used for much 
                      more cynical and menacing effect. McGuinn was not a happy 
                      camper at this point—internal band squabbles ruled the roost, 
                      so to speak. Crosby got dumped right before the recording 
                      of this alb, which was a GOOD thing considering that his 
                      embarrassing hippie soliloquy "Mind Garbage" marred 
                      what was otherwise a fine LP in the form of Younger Than 
                      Yesterday. There’s no such baggage here—in the annals 
                      of LP perfection, Notorious rates high. No bad tracks 
                      actually, and most of ‘em show the band at their absolute 
                      psychedelic peak—songs like "Dolphin Smile" and 
                      "Natural Harmony" are completely blissed-out blasts 
                      of sixties euphoria and the transition between the latter 
                      and the "protest" classic "Draft Morning," 
                      and the way that song unrolls and explodes, is one of the 
                      ALL-TIME highpoints o’ the psych sixties experience, right 
                      up there with when Garcia’s guitar busts out of the lard-fat 
                      lull in the middle o’ "Dark Star." Some of it’s 
                      dated, but as a primer of album-making, it still resounds 
                      in the same way as, say, The Who Sell Out. They goof 
                      around with classical stuff, mix it with country guitar, 
                      and barbershop harmonies and Carnaby Street and El Lay sensibilities, 
                      and, in "Gathering of Tribes," even some Coltrane. 
                      You better believe this sort of "eclectic" approach 
                      informed many latter-day makers of swirladelic LPs from 
                      Rundgren to Scott Miller to Anton in the Brian Jonestown 
                      Massacre. Of all the post-Pepper / Pet Sounds 
                      psychedelic "concept" albums—from After 
                      Bathing at Baxter’s to Their Satanic Majesties to 
                      Brian’s own Smile—Notorious is the best (well, 
                      excepting Forever Changes). The whole use of the 
                      word "eclectic" as a rock critic adjective came 
                      about because of albums like Notorious.  81. 
                      Zuma, Neil Young (Reprise, 1975): This is Neil’s 
                      best album. A lot of people prefer the one just prior to 
                      this, Tonight’s the Night because of its theme of 
                      junkie desolation, but Zuma is more or less a continuation 
                      of that, with an even heavier dose of guitar raunch. Perhaps 
                      his most bone-twisting guitar playing and singing is on 
                      here, and songwriting too, that is if you prefer his rock 
                      tendencies ala "When You Dance" to the more maudlin 
                      tendencies that veered dangerously closer to typical singer/songwriter 
                      territory. There’s very little that’s laidback about Zuma 
                      with its song-after-song about bummer-after-bummer (culminating 
                      in the super-bummer of "Cortez the Killer") and 
                      the slow bluesy stomp that makes up its apocalo-cryptic 
                      texture. The folkie material like "Pardon My Heart" 
                      is truly transcendent and not a bit dull. "Stupid Girl" 
                      is Neil at his meanest, at least since "Ambulance Blues." 
                      And in "Barstool Blues," a track that may well 
                      be his best, his voice cracks in the same frequency as his 
                      guitar.  80. 
                      Diary of a Madman, Ozzy Osbourne (Jet, 1981): 
                      Larry Lifeless of Kilslug once said this album was like 
                      "the Bible" and who am I to disagree? It’s like 
                      when I was talking to Tammy last night about how every time 
                      she comes up from the backwater o’ Wells to the big bad 
                      city of Portland for a Saturday night on the town, she doesn’t 
                      get home ‘til 3 AM and by the time she takes the husky out, 
                      it’s 4 and that makes it hard to get up the next morning 
                      and go to church…so I was saying, "I wouldn’t want 
                      to compete with the good lord," and she finished my 
                      thought for me: "…because that’s one battle you can 
                      never win." Exactly. Which is the way I feel about 
                      His Satanic Majesty Himself, Lord Lifeless…I mean, umm, 
                      Osbourne. Long the clown prince of metal, the Oz bottomed 
                      out in the late seventies and found himself being outdistanced 
                      not only by his one-time bandmates in Black Sabbath, who 
                      were issuing stuff like the Black Flag-approved Heaven 
                      and Hell, but also less-worthy wimps like Judas Priest 
                      who’d no doubt appropriated a great deal of his devilish 
                      antics. It was disgraceful that the fright-king of rock 
                      lay utterly dormant for so long, but thru the urgings of 
                      his newlywed wife-manager Sharon, the Oz put together a 
                      new band in the early eighties—they happened to be lucky 
                      enough to acquire the fastest-fingered young fretboard flier 
                      since Van Hefflin in the person of Randy Rhodes; and they 
                      were unlucky enough to have him die tragically after 
                      only two albs, of which this was the last one. While the 
                      earlier Blizzard of Oz came ready to bludgeon with 
                      such cranked-up wheel-turners as "Crazy Train," 
                      "I Don’t Know" and the epic "Suicide Solution," 
                      it was on this LP, released only a miraculous SIX MONTHS 
                      after Blizzard, that the Oz really laid the gauntlet 
                      down to future metallers. The riveting metallic crunch of 
                      tunes like "Over the Mountain" and the vehemently 
                      pro-drug (some people never learn!) anthem, "Flying 
                      High Again," was enough to convince a whole new generation 
                      to give this man a bib. By recording these two albums, Osbourne 
                      placed himself at the forefront of the NEW eighties metal 
                      and was able to perform an actual resurrection (UNLIKE Zep 
                      or almost anyone else from his metal generation). Some objects 
                      are sacred and Diary of a Madman is one of 
                      them.  79. 
                      Desolation Boulevard, the Sweet (Capitol, 1975): 
                      An alb so cool you need gloves to pick it up as well as 
                      an icepick to get into its totally out-of-the-frame membrane. 
                      When this came out in ’75 these guys were no better than 
                      a bubblegum act in America—famous for "Little Willy." 
                      When I was a little kid I once saw my teenage neighbor Vicky 
                      Balzanno swing her love beads to that song in a state of 
                      wild sexual abandon and something clicked in my head…the 
                      girls hear the guitars and they go MAD! Well, on Desolation 
                      Blvd. Sweet apply this girls/guitars theory to the nth 
                      degree—and as such effectively invent eighties metal (well, 
                      Kiss would hafta be in there as well but the only alb o’ 
                      theirs that had a chance o’ makin’ it was Dressed to 
                      Kill). Pure and simple, there’s no way around the fact 
                      that songs like "A.C.D.C" (not t’ be confused 
                      w/ the band of the same name) and "Set Me Free" 
                      are Motley Crue already in 1975. Which to me is pretty goddamn 
                      amazing (although you may scratch your head and say "eeeh, 
                      he thinks this is a good thing?") If you look 
                      at the cover, you see once again….Motley Crue! The concept 
                      of absolutely singeing decadence-run-amok that runs thru 
                      this alb is a foreshadowing of something like Guns n Roses 
                      at least ten yrs BEFORE THE FACT. And don’t doubt the influence 
                      on punks—ask Mike Saunders or Tesco Vee sometime about these 
                      guys. "Fox on the Run" was the ultimate power-heavy 
                      AM oasis back then in the birth of disco and when singer 
                      Brian Connolly goes into the falsetto on "Solid Gold 
                      Brass" it’s a cause for a kind of ginchiness that’s 
                      indescribable. Dilly’s right about "I Wanna Be Committed," 
                      however—it’s the worst song on the album. Why is this list 
                      beginning to look like a vindication of heavy metal? 78. 
                      Pink Flag, Wire (Harvest, 1978): When this alb 
                      came out at the tail end of ’77, the big deal about it was 
                      the brevity of its songs. Of course, in a few years with 
                      the rise of hardcore, and albums like the Circle Jerks’ 
                      Group Sex and the Minutemen’s What Makes a Man 
                      Start Fires?, where songs were literally a few seconds 
                      long, the songs on Pink Flag would actually seem 
                      standard. The whole idea of little tunes as quirky vignettes 
                      had gone back to Eno but in the late seventies arty punk 
                      bands like Wire were applying such minimalist applications 
                      to what was basically punk rock (i.e., Ramones). There were 
                      still some traditional songwriting elements as well, as 
                      in "Fragile" and the totally-wound-up manner with 
                      which songs like "Mr. Suit" and "12XU" 
                      were delivered was a catalyst for much mayhem in the years 
                      to follow (Minor Threat covered the latter). This was one 
                      of the better-received punk albs when it came out too, and 
                      the fact it was originally released on what amounted to 
                      an art-rock label tells you something about the way these 
                      guys were perceived as opposed to the actual Ramones etc. 
                      These guys belonged to the whole arty wave of Gang of Four, 
                      PiL, etc. more than they did the working-stiff punk o’, 
                      say, Sham 69. The fact they packed twenty loony tunes on 
                      here that still pack a wallop nowadays is testament to this 
                      album’s greatness—no "best of" list would be complete 
                      with out. An absolute classic. 77. 
                      The Great Electric Show and Dance, Lightnin’ Hopkins 
                      (Jewel, 1965): Then you have albs like this that conceptually 
                      are shit, or at least oblivious, but in all their ragged 
                      glory reveal perhaps something more essential than the most 
                      well-honed masterpiece—thru their own stumblebum sense of 
                      exploration, mostly of their own ids or emotional 
                      cores, the truth is revealed. This is the spirit of the 
                      blues and there are probably hundreds of such albums in 
                      jazz where it’s more or less a piss take, nothing ever meant 
                      to last forever, but it’s become classic despite its own 
                      self-imposed obsolescence. The Great Electric Show and 
                      Dance is one such album—good luck ever finding it. I 
                      found it a yard sale, late on a Sunday afternoon, which 
                      means it had been sitting there all weekend and no-one bought 
                      it. I bought it for a dime, and was amazed at what I heard: 
                      this is Lightnin’ piss-fuckin’-drunk at some Tex-ass barbecue 
                      in the mid-sixties…the audience is yelling things like "get 
                      a job," and Lightnin’s tauntin’ ‘em w/ TWO versions 
                      of "Little Red Rooster," one SIXTEEN MINUTES long! 
                      The string-pickin’ is the genius at his most intense—once 
                      again, ATTITUDE has a lot to do w/ it, and on this alb, 
                      Lightnin’s attitude is purely: "SHEEEE-IT!" The 
                      kind o’ tale-spinnin’ he does in "The Old Man and the 
                      Dog" is almost RAP! Don’t forget, on the cover o’ this 
                      alb he was wearing a light-up psychedelic suit…I don’t think 
                      he had to plug it in, like the guys in Blues Magoos, so 
                      it must’ve been battery-operated? Anyhow, his next alb after 
                      this one was on International Artists, the same label as 
                      the totally insane Elevators and Red Crayola, so that tells 
                      you something about Lightnin’: "Shee-it, you hippies 
                      might have something here." This is an album about 
                      living in Texas and it’s hot. And I have no doubt the version 
                      of "Let Me Play with Your Poodle" on this album 
                      is the one that inspired Troccoli’s Dog. In a word: punk. 
                       76. 
                      Workingman’s Dead, the Grateful Dead (Warner Bros., 
                      1970): The best country-rock alb of all-time. A lot 
                      of people put down the Dead, but they were one of the few 
                      groups w/ the balls to NEVER go in the Beatles direction—no 
                      poppy hits for them, infact they were even less-pop than 
                      the Velvet Underground (Lou Reed was always a pop boy, as 
                      was Dylan). The Dead’s music either consisted of aimless-but-still-pleasant 
                      space, or of these kinda plaintive, slightly-warped country-folk 
                      type tunes…ain’t no flies on these guys, the Dead is just 
                      the Dead. On album, it took ‘em a while to get it. Live/Dead, 
                      the one before this, was pretty much their magnum opus of 
                      the free-jamming style, but on this album, they concentrated 
                      on writing a more concise series of songs and the results 
                      are their best ever. Perhaps they did it for commercial 
                      reasons, who knows? After all, other than to acidheads, 
                      Anthem of the Sun wasn’t exactly "accessible." 
                      But I think it also had to do with drugs—by the time of 
                      Workingman, their drug o’ choice had become cocaine 
                      as opposed to acid. As such, there’s a rollicking western 
                      outlaw spirit to this album that actually lives up to the 
                      album cover, which shows ‘em hangin’ out in a railyard like 
                      hippie hobos. These guys were beyond…they really were living 
                      the hippie dream, and the high life, as supported by songs 
                      like "High Time" and the inevitable "Casey 
                      Jones." There isn’t really a bullshit note of music 
                      on this album, so consider it their Beggar’s Banquet. 
                      It has the same rustic quality, and speakin’ o’ the Stones, 
                      this alb also has "New Speedway Boogie," which 
                      is the Dead’s ode to Altamont, and it’s one of their best 
                      rockers. This album BY FAR contains Garcia’s best singing 
                      EVER in that song, as well as "Casey Jones" and 
                      the amazing "Dire Wolf," which, as a purely American 
                      expression, is as good as Hank Williams or the Everly Brothers. 
                      Even Pigpen ain’t bad on this album. A perfect album, what 
                      album-making is all about (the next one, American Beauty, 
                      weren’t no slouch either). Surprisingly clear-headed 
                      for a bunch of druggies. Just disproves what they say—the 
                      drug power can be harnessed and used effectively and the 
                      Dead are long-term champions of the mind-shredding psychic 
                      frontier. TO 
                      BE CONTINUED..............    |