# 15    SUMMER OF 2003



by Jimmy Fielding

Record Review: "Down The Road" by Van Morrison

Van Morrison's got a new compact disc out called "Down the Road." It's pretty good. It hits all the right notes and right spots. But I can't help but feel that he's past it. The classic Van is gone. Never to come back.
        Me and my friend James always have the same argument about classic Van. It's a beaut. We debate so much that it's nearly become mundane. Everytime we start up our girlfriends groan.
        We're at verbal war over which is the best Van Morrison record. James has it so wrong. He prefers "Moondance." I prefer "Astral Weeks." Now "Moondance" is plenty alright. It's a dandy. All the great Morrison hallmarks are there. Pure soul. You know, "It's a marvelous night for a moondance" does it for me everytime. His voice is a mother. I'm swept away by the grit of soul, the overpassionate delivery and a stateliness that's sublime.
        All the elements used to describe "Moondance" also apply to "Astral Weeks" but here's the rub: Weeks has pathos. A bucketload. I wouldn't even want to guess where Morrison's head was at when he concocted this beauty. It's like he's a condemned man, noosed but with just enough spirit to tell it like it is.
       The truth is this lp (and I do mean long-playing vinyl record not the digital doofusness of compact discs) makes you wiser just by its aural proximity. Play this record and let the rhythms sway your hips. Put your hands on the speaker cones. Feel the curative power of an Irishman's voice enthralled.
       One thing I suggest is hanging a fairly large speaker from the ceiling about 2 feet above the carpet. This is great for those suffering from backne. You'll need to turn the temperature up because you'll be removing your shirt or blouse. Once topless lie face down beneath the speaker. Don't forget to put the needle on the record first. Start side 1/song 1 and luxuriate. By the end of the record you'll be zit free. I guarantee it.
       Some new moms suffer from the inability to lactate. No problem. (Unfortunately here's where you'll need to purchase the compact disc, but it's worth it.) Ladies what you want to do is play the disc on your computer. Once the beauty of Van's voice pushes the air molecules grab those small speakers beside your monitor, one in each hand, and place them an inch from each breast. As you'll see Van really is a tonic. Lactation will never be a problem again. Other side effects like chapped nipples will also be avoided.         "Astral Weeks," for me, is as good a cure-all as drinking your own urine or applying a sperm facial. It cures pinkeye, makes you regular, removes warts, corns and dandruff. I suggest it can even increase your bust, lip, penis and butt sizes.
       Most importantly it makes you feel good about you. Van has recorded an all-purpose restorative for the soul. And THAT makes "Astral Weeks" my favourite album.

A Selected Anthology of Krokus Lyrics

compiled by James Fielding

Burning Bones

In a restaurant
Drinkin beaujoulais wine
You're with your favourite girl
And you're passin' the time

You look through the paper
How the times seem wrong
About five minutes later
You're lovin' your lady

I can see burning bones of war
I can see ashes on the floor

There stands a soldier
In a farflung land
Fear of death in his eyes
And a bottle in his hand

Everyone is drinking
Got the taste of blood
No more crosses and bleeders
Just show 'em what you've got

from the lp 'Hardware'


I am an animal
My God I am the beast
I love to see you bleed
So welcome to my feast

They're sellin' human flesh
To keep me satisfied
With every bloody bod' to eat
Another's gonna die

Don't give me politics
Don't give me public schools
Just keep it tops and baby please
We're breakin' all the rules

I am a ragin' bull
Don't feel no sympathy
Sex and drugs and rock n' roll
That's my cup of tea

Feel the heat
Runnin' bodies into the fire
Time to feed

My axe is clean and sharp
The blade is shining bright
She's hungry for a midnight snack
Heads will roll tonight

I am the hunter
Not easy to please
Stand in line, don't be the last
Get down on your knees

from the lp 'Headhunter'

Down The Drain

My mother was a b-girl
My old man was a tramp
Some folks say they conceived me
On a loading ramp

I was only fourteen took to petty crime
Stole from supermarkets with this girl of mine

No roots no home no country
No hope no faith no luck
If there's a God in heaven
He doesn't give me bucks
No self respect no honour
No family no cash
No church and no religion
I'm only human trash

Now I'm nearly twenty sick in heart and brain
Haven't got the courage my life is...
Down the drain

from the lp 'One Vice At A Time'

I'm On The Run

Standing at the station
Waitin' for the train
No money for a B.L.T.
Can't afford the plane
Sat me down in a smoker
Rolled me up a jay
Time is up runnin' hot
This boy is on his way

Meet a million people
Tell me what to do
All the slimy leaches...yuk!
Make me feel so blue

But the booze in the bus
Hot legs round the neck
State to state coast to coast
Hey guys! I'll be back...

from the lp 'One Vice At A Time'


I know you called me a dirty lover
But that's exactly what you need
It's not for talkin', not even for tokin'
It's good time action baby 'til you bleed

I've got to do it twice more tonight
Baby I need you, your pants are so tight
Let's get some shelter, I need it fast and hot
So take your umbrella, we can do it on the spot

Heatstrokes fire burning stove
Heatstrokes fire burning stove

from the lp 'Metal Rendez-vous'

Backseat Rock'N'Roll

I wanna kiss my baby in a cadillac
Driven by a chauffer, sittin' in the back
Driver you can drive us anywhere
Make sure I'm on time before arriving there

Drivin' through the city to the concert hall
Headin' for the sound, I hear some rock'n'roll
I told the driver "Come on" let's go to the door
I wanna do it to the music, man I need some more

Hey now! It's backseat rock'n'roll
Hey now! Do it with your soul

Driving to the hall, straight ahead to the stage
The music's going higher than a lover's cage
She's rockin' me and I'm rollin' her
People, people shake it, I don't care

from the lp 'Metal Rendez-vous'

Re: Coke Comp


wow, Janice really likes to cut deep. I think her tact is in question
or maybe she just doesn't know. OK here goes. As you mite guess coke refers not to the cola but cocaine. It's something that's been a problem of mine for awhile now. quite something. The sense of power is amazing, a kind of "I can do anything" spirit that leaves sobriety in the dust. There's a passion for yourself and life but at the same time there's a coolness at the edges. Is it a hi-induced passion tempered with a feeling of control? Or is it self-celebration with a feeling of icy emptiness? Idon't know. Paul feels the same way about it but I can't really talk about him. Let's just say that when bonhomie turns to desperation there's a freshness about the feeling that hasn't been well explored in the creative world. Maybe 'cause you need to have been there. Have you?

About the comp: Singers like Robert Palmer & Don Henley were there. I can tell from songs like "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On" + "Sunset Grill". Their voices burn the fire of passion. But the lyrics reveal a mutedness that betray the vocal. The instruments are played with tremendous feeling but the sonic production is very mechanistic. These inherent contradictions say 1 thing to me: peruvian flake. Misguided sincereness, passion pumped to the max but utterly empty in the middle.

I'm just thinking about this now, there are very few females on the
comp. Remember Eric Clapton:

She don't like...
She don't like...
She don't like...

(now the audience yells at the top its lungs [both men and women
equally]) ...Cocaine!

Rad eh? I have a feeling about you tho. Indulgence is universal. But unlike most of society I get the feeling you don't deny. Society lacks spontaneity. The feelings that pass from minute to minute, second to second need to be jumped on. Like I said indulgence is universal but people seem to fear it. Why not embrace what one's gut tells them. Denial is unhealthy. Where do you think cancer and like come from? Sure one can spend all day being obsessed with eating the so-called right foods, vitamins, exercise. But that is so uptite. If we take advice from our gut illness would disappear in a second. Blow instills this in me. Gives me the courage to feel inwards and embrace the physical sensations that we all have and ignore. Do you feel like spreading peanut butter all over your body but are worried that it's gonna make a mess? Fuck it. That lame censorship has to stop! The new agers have it right: it's all about feelings.

Best, Jimmy

Sandra wrote:

> Hi Jimmy,
> What's the coke comp? In Janice's last email, she said I should ask you about it.
> Sandra
> PS - I'm coming over for the long weekend, so I'll bring the books & movie with me.