Jim has been quite the enigma ever since he first appeared
on the first Sun City Girls album (I think, I've never actually
heard it). A man of great mystery, and power, I will let him
tell his story for himself. My questions are in bold, his
are regular, as Mark Prindle would say.
start out with a question from the Sun City Girls email discussion
list. Ok, "When will you reissue Torch of the Mystics?"
WHAT THE FUCK? Ok, no more questions from the Internet Fans.
first real question: When I was in elementary school, 5th
grade roundabouts, before class there would be little 'desk
exercises' broadcast over the PA, I can't remember a whole
lot about them, except I remember "Yoga in your seat",
and "A walk across America" as being a few of them.
Whattaya think the chances are I was brainwashed by this?
The school Principal WAS a shriner.
fella, ya gotta tip-toe past a Tapanuli Tombstone and wager
that, ONE out of every 900 shriners is a Jackpot Atheist goin
for yer Jugular and he'll stop at nothing to dissect yer ancestry
and sprinkle Okapi Seman in your hair when you're not lookin!
As for brainwash, the whole damn loony-schoolastic is all
about that, whether it's over the PA system or smack dab up
the thin-striped-skirt with a number 2 pencil! I knew a chalkboard
midget who car-bombed an overhead projector once....he thought
it was an instrument of deception. That Buick LeSabre took
out twice as many kids than the Four Horsemen of Columbine!
Ya didn't read about THAT one, now did ya, Norelco!
I DID read about that, though who knows if it was the full
story, heard a fellow by the name of W. Clopes was the real
wheel man behind it all. Maybe I need to recheck w/ the 'sources'.
And I've got a beard, at least a finger pinch length, I've
heard Allah prefers it that way, as well as good old "Jesus".
Nothing wrong with hedging the bets is there?
all....as long as you're clever enough to hedge your hedge!
There's a white robe south of Jakarta that turned my five-O-clock
shadow into a criosote thicket quicker than a fedex up the
skirt of Madame Blavatsky!
how about you give us a short biography of yourself?
a very checkered career. I was born long before you were and
I'll be dead-again well after you are. My childhood did not
last long....about 3 weeks. My textbook behavioral-engineering
classes were fortunately terminated early by a Megalomaniac
Badui Priest who sold me to Bohemian Grove and doctored my
electric shaver so by the time I hit the age of INVINCIBLE,
I had already become a gun-running, spy-thief, dukun philanderer
worthy of six-figure paychecks for jobs intentionally left
undone. A geologic comma later, I coined the phrase "African
Netherlander" during a speech I made at the Dahomey Hoofed-Mammal
Conference in Rotterdam to a touring pack of Wall Street Chiwallas
and within three months "Netherlander" was replaced
by "American" and gently dream-weaved into the collective
psyche of the United States by the Gary Wright administration.
Four years later, the word NIGGER grew a malignant breast
tumor and ever since, people started lookin' like dead timber!
The past 25 years gets foggy, I'll have to consult the Ghengis
Necro-Nama-KHAN and send the meat of the text via carrier
old hippie woman told me that the "kind bud" the
kids these days smoke is sprayed with chemicals and
totally unnatural, that's where the crystals come from. Are
we better off smoking white trash dirt weed?
better off smokin with confidence and an atom smashing humidifier....gives
ya some throat magic and keeps the bud "kindly-likely
resin-gatekeeper happy". Otherwise, it's a stencil on
the third lung if ya got one and if you don't, ya might as
well join hands with Billy Joe McCallister and jump off the
the ol Vaporizimer, those get a bit spendy don't they? Seems
like the domain of those Frat Shaggies with pukka shell necklaces
and glow in the
dark stars on the ceiling, then try and off themselves end
of the semester. I don't really desire to soiree with those
clowns, any other sociological types who would have the necessary
nothing and you've got a map so let's get on with
it!......Theres a field outside Guatemala City where they
grow wild! Ya gotta hump a plump dumpling to gain access,
but why suck shit-wind, when Kalki's horse is at the hitchin'
of smoking, what are your favorite brand of
'coffin nails'? Also, what's your favorite cigarette brand?
Dis-Orientalia" is a fine carton to buy at crate-rates,
that is, if you know the Lebanese manufacturers workin the
Lagos scene....they've also been faxing stray idiots with
a money-transfer scheme....somethin about givin people 500K
to switch funds outta Oil-Cartel hach-swill! Don't matter
what coffin nails ya use, cuz ya can't kill a Scorpio!
yeah, I'd forgotten about a recent Wire article
which mentioned that it is important not to succumb to
"Armchair Orientalism"? Is this some new disease
Chicken Flu? Will smoking Global Dis-Orientalia help or harm
and I used to print phony Chinese Yen on a Yacht off the coast
of Macau. Whats important to anyone ain't my insignia. Importance
was beheaded in the 14th century and its ghost still floats
in a brass ashtray. Sam and I used to work graveyard puffin
GDO's, cacklin like strangled jaguars....adding names on the
hour, EVERY hour, to invisible Hit-Lists....and that was years
before HE stockpiled grenades and I caressed a snub-nosed
38! I saw his Downbeat magazine armchair blindfold test in
....he gave em all 5 stars! You can bet a double-hedge thicket
at even money that he wanted to kill-em ALL!
your many travels, have you ever come across this
Catalunian bro, goes by the name of El Tio Cojones?
he also goes by "Andre, the Caracal". Exchanged
saliva samples with him 'bout 20 years ago in an 11th-hour
swivel to free the one-eyed Pope-scope "Ali Agca"
but it backfired like a limp petunia in a hooded crackpipe!
we all know, the Grateful Dead, Doors, Hendrix, et al, were
created by MK-ULTRA, but there hasn't been much written these
days about the current Musical
Stars. Got any 'hot tips' for us? Or any 'old dirt'
on the past singin' saps?
stamp 'em with a day-glo fart bubble and tootsie-pop 'em right
on stage! Its a manufacturer's dream, guy! A warehouse in
Orlando, 43 journalists, Carlos Lehder's goon squad, and the
black box from a dead golfer's runaway jet is all the overhead
they need to do business. They used to have to KILL their
creations....now they're born DEAD! Clean.....real CLEAN these
were you the night John Kerry and GW Bush
jerked each other off in Taft's coffin as part of their Skull
and Bones Society initiation?
get one thing straight there, hemoglobin, even though it all
sounds like one big happy family over there at Yale, it's
not nearly the case! There's Pig-bloat competitiveness bred
like Arabian horse stock in them
chambers and the blue-blood farmer's sex mates are always
the "drifter stock" and never the Royal Fancy types,
so both of them dew-hickeys were jerkin squirrel meat instead
of pocket-lobby Moguls and whoever steals the footage gets
an Anthrax sandwich or a Bird-Flu casserole.....so watch what
you eat next time you flog the food court.....could be a Dog
Rummy casket waitin for a well-intentioned whistleblower!
bro Twig was telling me about a race of lizards
who mated with certain humans, creating hybrids, who
now run most of the world. Do you have any tips on
dealing with these reptilian overlords?
your FEAR GLANDS. Let that juice drip like a horn-slut nympho
draped over a Pinnochio rooster beak! That's right GUY, never
let 'em see you sweat! Use infrared light and line-up AT LEAST
17 alibis, cuz I used 14 and they got as close as 3 blocks
away as I filled the last cup!
enough Uncle Jim to make the entire FCC put in their two weeks
notice, obtain the VHS tape The Halcyon Days of Symmetry
and the double CD Carnival Folklore Resurrection Radio,
both available (as of this writing) from: