Funny Shit

#17

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Hi Larry,

Thanks for your reply. I have heard Transmaniacon, listening to it right now, actually. It's not brilliant the way Royal Trux is -- the absence of Neil is obviously crucial. I think the musicians she chose are more surface, not earth shattering like Neil.

That said, I think Trans is more in the vein of Royal Trux, whereas Neil's solo stuff is such a departure. And seeing as how the trux are my absolute favorite band, I'm so THANKFUL for the return of some wonderful, dirty skank rock. It pales in comparison to any N+J production, but it's something....and it's comforting for me to hear Jenn's voice again. For awhile I was hearing bizarre stories of her shooting up in her neck -- and worrying she would be dead in no time -- so this, in all of its overblown, fascinatingly perverse mediocrity, is a gift. There are some awesome songs, too....I don't mean to sell it too much, but it brings out these emotions that I never feel in Neil's solo stuff -- there's some weird soul connection to the early stuff, hence
RTX. Jenn made some statement about the past living on in her, that there was no erasure....but that this was a new start as well. I hear she surfs these days. :)

I also want to say I thought it was wonderful that you guys put up Tosh Berman's essay on his father Wallace Berman. WB is my favorite artist -- visual poetics and all of that; also, emphasis on REVOLUTION.

Last thing, I promise. I'm tempted to print out all of your issues, just to make sure they're not lost in the vast web. (I have a weird physical archive impulse.) I know some people just randomly take down their web productions -- the
cost to maintain and all of that. How do all of you have so much time to write? I mean, are you guys funded from outside sources? That would be awesome if it were possible; at some point my friend and I might try to put together something.....But I don't think we'd be able to put out anything this thorough -- it's kind of like you've created a whole psychedelic, alive universe -- a trip into another's
mind....(Yet another resonance with Royal Trux.)

take care,
Holly

"What happened to Dave E of the Electric Eels?"
Mentioned in the Tarot or Aorta review. If you hadn't
already heard, John Morton mentions in his wild n'
wooly liner notes to "The Eyeball of Hell" that Dave E
came down with that most dreaded syndrome of all
nihilist rockers: he become a born-again Christian.
Now look: I fancy myself a Christian (after a fashion
one I'm sure many conventional "Christians" would find
displeasing), but can I just say I HATE THAT SHIT?!?!?
MB, Dave E, who the fuck else? I know, I know, their
souls are afforded relief, but I still subscribe to a
different school of Christian belief....there are
things in this society worth railing about, even in
the most pissy and bitter and nihilistic ways, and
it's not a sin to get on that podium. And the other
one that says creativity should always be rewarded,
not punished. I think of that priest that's
interviewed in the John Waters documentary "Divine
Trash." John's mother came to the priest who used to
let John screen his films in the basement of his
church and asked him what she should do about her son.
"I told her....ENCOURAGE HIM. Creativity is something
that's in such short supply these days, and shouldn't
be held back." David Thomas at least gave it a try,
trying to reconcile his Jehovah's Witness-ness with
his former band's chaos, and at least made some
interesting stabs in the '80s. Granted, he was better
when he was hateful/pissy, but hey...this is a really
difficult area of inquiry, and I'm not equipped to
duke it out right now. But I just wanted to bring that
up. That's where Dave E is. Two-point conversion by
the Christians.

- Noxagt. You ponder out possible pronunciations in
the review. Just wanted to say, hearing it from Ben
McOsker and the band themselves when on tour, I think
it's pronounced "Noacks-akt", long O, short A. Very
brittle and angular pronunciation, almost eastern
european in its consonant-heavy clack. Like a sneeze.
NOXAGT! "Gesundheit!"

-- C

Fuzz-O,
I like to think of myself (usually) as some sorta 'man of the people'. For all that browbeating type bullshit I do in my column (ie--'You're a stain of shit if you've never heard and dug on both SSD AND Dando Shaft', etc'), I think of opinions in the cliched manner that they're just like shitholes, everybody's got one and they don't really 'stink' per se, but they're not gonna jump out and stab me from behind a brickwall anytime soon, so let them be, y'know? But, Dolman, ole buddy, ole pal, ole one last tram ticket for the road...THE SECOND BAND ALBUM IS OVERRATED?!?!? Reading this statement at such an early moment of the day (1 PM) made me put aside my coffee, my cig and my Mickey Jupp tapes for one mo'...for I had awoken to a sobering consequence. YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT! 'When You Awake'? 'Rockin' Chair'? WE'RE TALKING ''LOOK OUT CLEVELAND' FOR CATALINA'S SAKE HERE! 'King Harvest' is the finest white funk ever committed to tape and I thought you had the ears to hear and realize this. I mean, Hair Police gets ten green lights, but something with the genius of 'Jawbone' on it is overrated? Are you sure you haven't been puffing on those jumbo rocks they sell in Humboldt Park? (I believe they are called 'St. Germaines') (And as far as 'Stage Fright' goes...all I gotta say is 'Just Another Whistle Stop', 'Time To Kill,' etc.)

Reading this has made me stop and think about contributing to Blastitude. Am I not even preaching to the converted, but to the ignorant and prejudiced? It makes me wonder...

But on the positive side, 200LBU4 will be done by summers end, I PROMISE. Was gonna interview The Magick Markers when they blew through town this Friday, but I got caught up at the happy hour at the Sounds Lounge and the next thing I knew it was 2 AM and I was sitting in [NAME WITHHELD]'s sitting room while Dylan's 'Brownsville Girl' blarred outta these coffin sized speakers. (Some of my fave Dylan lines are in that track...'I didn't know whether to duck or run...so I ran' 'I feel pretty good right now, but that's not saying much', etc) I remember some sorta spat occuring over the validity of Tom Petty sometime over the night as well, but it's all sorta foggy right now. Later I remembered the Heartbreakers backed up Bob on that track. Right? Am I wrong? Jesus, look who I'm asking...

Hey, you got me there, I have yet to hear Bob Dylan & The Heartbreakers do any song, including "Brownsville Girl," which might indeed mean that I'm full of shit, but Antone, I do know this: "Tears of Rage" and "Chest Fever" are a one-two Big Pink punch that takes the whole Band album out! No, actually, that Band review was pretty stupid. Everybody puts The Band at #1 and Big Pink at #2, and I just wanted to say that I think it's the other way around, but for some reason it got kinda snarky and, correct, full of shit. The Band is a mighty fuckin' album, for sure. That shit about hasty token Americana didn't mean that The Band wasn't playing and singing its ass off, but there's no denying that Robertson fell off BIGTIME as a songwriter over the years, and on this album I can hear him starting to slip a little. But holy shit, you're right about "Look Out Cleveland"! I'll be honest: I had missed that one.

Mr Harrington:

How dare you put those glamour boys The Strokes and that pussy Jack White into the sacred New York vs. Midwest paradigm? That battle is best fought with heavyweights, be they Lou Reed vs. Neil Young or Jim Jarmusch vs. Guy Maddin or even John Zorn vs. Miles Davis. But please don't think that T.I.J.W. (That Idiot Jack White) and anyone named Julian would ever be allowed into this title card bout.

"But the fact remains, and can’t be argued with—the Strokes ‘re one o’ the best groups to come down the pike in a long while."

Uhh...I can argue with it. It doesn't have The Spook. Some early Styx songs have more Spook than The Strokes. And, really, what is that telling you?

Man, your top 100 albums list was killer! And now TWO Strokes reviews!?!?!?!?

Anyway, keep up the good work.

Joezef K

Respected Sir,
I am a poet from Nepal. I am submitting a poem at your persual. Thank you.

Sincerely Yours
Bhuwan Thapaliya

Title: Suppression, I accept not

I came
into this world
not like the river
but like the drop of water
and will evaporate soon

Though,
I am only
a drop of water
in the majestic ocean
of nature

I yearn
to create
a vigorous ripple
of freedom,
in the eternity of the water

For, I am the man,
of eternal freedom
and suppression
I accept not
I will accept not

The living God
within me, urges
Me to be free, and
march on the road
of freedom sans any dread

My heart
like Einstein
thinks in another dimension
unknown and unknowable
even to my mind

And like Goethe
looks at things
in a different manner
different than those thinkers
bestowed with pristine minds

Freedom
the gift of God
is the inherent right
of every individual
in this compressed world

I will fight
till the end
to free the masses
from the grip of suppression
and ignite the lamp of freedom

I will free the masses
or die in the attempt
but I will never
live to see
the naked dance of repression

I am not afraid
of those suppressors
nor I am afraid of the death
that they are planning for me
they can kill me but not freedom forever

My blood boils,
Whenever, I see the strong ones
pulverizing the lean, and my heart cries,
whenever I see the starving pauper
in the abattoir of the prosperous butcher

For me
a red rose is a red rose
it is not white
just because they call it white
to disguise the ignorant folks

They can
conquer the Everest
but not my spirit
they can stagnate the river
but not my impetus

They can
take my
sight away
but not
my vision of freedom

They can
cut my
tongue into pieces
but not
my voice of freedom

They can
Stab me, with the dagger of despotism
But not impede
The blood of freedom

I know
the road to freedom
is blocked with obstacles
but obstacles causes no despair
if they are encountered with hope

We must act now
and merely
not just look on,
when our freedom
is threatened from within

Because,
it is better
to perish without freedom
than to have a yearn for freedom
but not the valor to harvest it

Don’t be a coward….

Be prepared to receive
bullets on your chest
because, in the struggle
of freedom, tolerance
of suppression is offense

Stand up…. stand up

Gather your courage. Come out
in the field, lets march hand in
hand together. Right beneath the
nose of the suppressors, for the
emancipation of our freedom

Let us not forget that….

The ocean is composed of drops
Of water, and all drops possess
Equal potentials, but only, when
They mix with other drops
They form a powerful bond

So…

Listen, my oppressed brothers
listen, my trodden sisters
listen…. listen
to the natural desire
of your ceaseless soul

do not fear
trust your soul
and march ahead
with a resolute heart
for the better tomorrow

And scatter
the seeds of freedom,
where does it go?
it does not matter
scatter it more with hope

Welcome the freedom
welcome it today
and enjoy it evermore
but do not use your freedom
to suppress the peoples soul
to suppress the peoples soul

Um, wow, thanks Bhuwan. I very rarely publish poetry in Blastitude, but this is kinda heavy, so I'll sneak it on the letters page. I must say, though, your central image of "freedom" doesn't work for me like it maybe should. I feel like the meaning of the word has been ruined through overuse by the American president and the American media, particularly as a buzzword excuse for sending the lower middle class to war. To you, a resident of Nepal who speaks a language other than English, the word "freedom" might mean something deeper, but in America it feels more how Brian Eno described it, in an interview with Kristine McKenna, in response to her question, "What's the most over-rated idea currently popular in western culture?" His answer: "The idea of the free individual. That's a very over-rated aspiration and American society is full of its symptoms. There's a limited sense in which people differ from one another and those differences are fairly superficial. There are many more ways that people are alike, but the whole accent of contemporary culture is to stress the differences. People are encouraged to want their own this and their own that, and told that these preferences are indicative of their individuality -- and such is the basis of consumer culture."

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We shall put all our efforts into having your link up in less than 24 hours; and if you find our site useful for your visitors, please add a reciprocal link.

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Thank you very much,
James T. Monaghan
webmaster

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'Why,surely.'Tis there,up along to your right-you can just see it through them trees.You go up the hill and along the road to the right,and then take the new road through the building estate.'Tis the last house-at the very end.'
'Thank you.'. ." He had said it with acceptance-almost with welcome. kyuudaij1reisyo03shuuatsu,renchan puramu.

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LETTERS TO RETTMAN

Tony,
That ain't Arthur Doyle...that's me motherfucker! Pam Anderson = Samara Lubeski.

Pete Nolan

Pete--
Sorry about that. I guess I got you and Arty Doyle confused because of all the similarities you two share (i.e.-You're both Ecstatic Peace recording artists, you both smoke Black 'n' Milds, etc.)

I shoulda remembered Samara's knockers from the first annual 'New Wet America' t-shirt contest they had at Sin'e over the summer. Remember...Marc Orleans won! I wish I had my 'instamatic' on that night!

Best--TR

Blastitude is always a fun bathroom read, though a laptop would be easier.

That Daniel goob scored two bullseyes, calling Keith a joker and me as ass. You Jersey guys are so angry!

John Allen

Dearest Ass--
'You Jersey guys are so angry!'

Hey pal, don't forget where you come from or we'll publish the 'bathrobe' photos post haste!

P.S.--Perhaps the next time you enjoy the 'Tude while dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool, you can use your 'craptop' .

Hi Tony,
Thanks so much for the kind words. Your review of my album definitely hits the mark that I'm aiming for.

Chris Bozzone

Hey!
What's this? A kind letter? I don't know how to react...Um, you're welcome?!?!??

Good work Tone. Do you still have my Santana 'Carvanserai' cassette you stole from my white Lumina back in 1995?

But seriously, I read the intro and breezed through the text body. No wonder you stress over that writing you do...It's in depth, leaving no stone unturned and it's full of hate and humor. I will go over the whole column Friday or Saturday (My days off) with a fine tooth hair pick.

Evil David Letterman and Gilbert Godfreid on Stern today!

John Meat

Ya know John--
I had that Santana tape all laid out and ready to give back to you when I heard Gilbert on Stern today. I quickly slapped a band aid over the 'no recording' holes and taped away. Sorry dude. But at least I have Gilbert on tape!

Hoorah!--TR

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