OUR GAL IN NICARAGUA Nicaragua
ain't for no sissies. even i had quite the time
of it last night. we'll start a couple of nights
ago to me waking up at about 5:20 am to a noise in the
kitchen. i quickly decided it was much too noisy
to be a burglar and figured out that it was a mouse in
some plastic bags in the kitchen. as i stepped out
of the bedroom to scope out the situation, i turned on
the light as the mouse launched itself out of the bags
hanging on the wall and PLOPPED! on the floor and
went scurrying. then as i prepared to turn around
and go to bed, i realized that there was a very organized
line of a good 100 ants racing across my back door in
the kitchen to a small hole in my wooden wall that i hadn't
thought too much of before.
now ants in nicaragua are not just ants. nicaraguans
have names for different types of ants like the eskimos
have for different types of snow. These were of
the "sapopo" variety, which are at least twice
the size of your average nebraska ant (i would say about
1/2 to 3/4 inch long), and are characterized by a "burnt
sienna" color (now don't you wish you'd bought the
100 pack of crayolas?), a huge ball like brown colored
head, and a hell of a bite. i also found out today
that they eat clothes.
So last night i decided to take care of the situation...i
took my can of "Bay-Gon" (raid) and sprayed
it into their main entry hole, and a previously identified
areterial hole. immediately ants starting throwing
their bodies out of this hole. ant after ant after
ant is coming out of this wall, i can hear their bodies
as they hit the table and floor below and scurry around
all poisoned. i try sticking around to see how this
plays out, but so many are falling out of that hole they
are covering the kitchen floor and scurrying to my bedroom,
the dining area, the living room (all tiled)...finally
i go into the living room as i am getting way to freaked
out by all of these frantic potentially biting ants.
i took advantage to call this wells-fargo lady on the
phone in the states. as we were talking, i saw this
scurrying on the floor. it is a cockroach.
not one of those "little" cockroaches that some
of you saw pictures of while i was back, but i am talking
about one of those three to four inch long, 1 1/2 inch
wide suckers. i dropped the phone while i stomped
him and mischieviously told the lady "sorry, i had
to kill something". she whispered "oh
my gosh"-the only real human reaction i got out of
her automated demeanor. it was a precious moment
these cockroaches don't die if you squish their head,
however, i forgot. you have to pretty much separate
their entire abdomen from their head. so i looked
up to see it get up and scurry across the floor. i followed
it behind a chest and looked behind it-rustling out a
nice little gecko that scared me as it sped away on its
four fast little webbed feet. finally getting the
cockroach, finding another, squishing that one...dodging
convulsing ants all over the floor, worrying that in their
suffering they would blindly latch onto my long lounging
pants and crawl up my legs...i was getting paranoid.
then i go into the kitchen and but if i didn't see run
away the damn mouse. i go back up to the front of
the living room and put up my feet on the rocker and start
reading. then i feel a presence. i looked
up, my eyes swinging to the front door that i keep open.
there, immediately frozen, was this cat with huge reflective
eyes and coiling muscles, readying to leap away.
i made some noise and it took off through my front gate,
and more or less brought my night to a close.
i had thought that i'd kill those ants really quick and
then go do some yoga; i put that off for last night, wracked
with guilt for a mass murder, permanent goose-bumps, and
paranoia of ants crawling in my pants.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
p.s. mother, this cannot be used against me as reasoning
for not coming to visit me. you can stay in a hotel.
pops, i think that you would rather enjoy it here.